!! damn! ms leong called my house this afternoon... and i picked up(thank god) >< cos i skipped math remedial today and went straight home.. YES i did not go out... i jus went home cos i wasnt really in the mood and id probly end up sitting there staring into space or lying on the table listening to LOVE SONG by SARA BARELLEIS or at least i think dats how u spell it... the worse part is... i actually knew there was math remedial cos i asked ms leong wif there was... and wdf... daesia didnt get called and I did... =.= damn no mood tok now...

i take wad i jus said about @#$%^ back... maybe not... but i shall change a line... *FCUK OF BITCH AND LEAVE ME ALONE* in fact... u dun even NEED to care about me cos i feel FUCKING SCREWED UP NOW OK? so should i hail u bloody bitch now cos ur such a perfect angel? then i shall... ALL HAIL BLOODY BITCH!! SO TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE IM TRYING TO AVOID IN MY FACE IS NOT BEING A BASTARD NOW? SO NOW I SAY DAT IM BEING A BLOODY BITCH? SO IF I CANT BE HONEST ABOUT WAD I THINK TO U GUYS THEN WHY CALL OURSELVES BESTFRENS? COS IT TOTALLY DOESNT MAKE MUCH SENSE RIGHT? U THINK I WILL HATE SOMEONE COS HE STUDY? WAD U THINK I AM MAN? DO U THINK IM DAT SELF-CENTERED? U THINK IM SUCH A BITCH TO SAY HE'S A BASTARD COS HE STUDYS? FCUK U MAN! OH YEA! AND BEING BESTFRENS.. WE ALWAYS LAUNCH PERSONAL ATTACKS AT EACH OTHER RIGHT? WAD ARE BEST FRENS FOR? SO UR SAYING U TRUST HER MORE THAN ME AND ALL IM SAYING ARE LIES? AM I DAT OF A LIER? IS IT A CRIME TO HATE HER JUS COS SHE'S PRETTY AND CRAZY AND SUCH A PERFECT ANGEL? OR DO U THINK IM JUS JEALOUS? HAH? OH.. WAD WOULD I DO W/O HER IF SHE WERENT IN MY LIFE? I'LL BE SOOOO MISERABLE AND SCREWED UP AND OUR GANG WOULD BE SOOOO PERFECT WIF HER AROUND... BOO-HOO... IS SHE GOING? I BLOODY WISH SHE IS... SO DID SHE STEAL MY FRENS OR DID I JUS LOSE THEM? AM I SUCH A BITCH DAT NO1 WANS TO BE MY FREN? IF SO THEN GO BE BESTFRENS WIF HER INSTEAD Y DUN U? IM SO BAD IM NOT SUPPOSED TO HAF FUCKING FRENS!!! OH.. IM SOOO SORRY IM SUCH A PETTY GIRL... IM SOOO WRONG ABOUT HER AND I CANT EVEN HATE HER... IM SOOOO SORRY!!! PLEASE... PLEASE BLOODY FUCK OFF.. WAD? WHY ARE U STILL TOKING TO ME AND STUFF? WHY DUN U GO TOK TO HER? I THOT SHE WAS SOOO MUCH BETTER THAN ME? I THOT I WAS A BITCH? I THOT U WANTED HER AS UR BEST FREN/? SO Y R U STILL BLOODY TOKING TO ME? SO U NOE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME NOW EH? SO UR LIKE ME NOW? SO U R SOOO PSYCHIC U NOE WAD IM THINKING EVEN? U CAN READ MY MIND? WOW I DIDNT NOE U COULD COS THEN Y WOULD U STILL ASK WHY I HATE HER? WLDNT U NOE EVERYTHING THEN? EVERYTHING I DIDNT SAY ALOUD? SO WADEVER HAPPENS TO ME AINT IMPORTANT SYUKRI? SO EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS SOO BLOODY IMPORTANT? SO EVERYTHING SHE'S DONE TO ME IS SOOO MINOR? DUN I HAF FEELINGS SYUKRI? OR AM I JUS A RAGGAD PUPPET TO BE DRAGGED AND PUSHED ABOUT? U NOE IF I DIDNT NOE HER, I WOULD BE SOOO DAMN HAPPY NOW? MAYBE UR NOT BUT I WILL BE.. SO DUN TINK EVB LIKES HER OK? COS THEY DUN. EVEN IF U DO DAT DOESNT MEAN I HAF TO LIKE HER TOO! SO FINE! IM THE BITCH OK? NOT HER! IM THE BLOODY BITCH SCREWING US UP AND IM THE ONE HU SHOULDNT BE IN BLONDIES OK? IM THE BITCH SHE'S THE TOTAL ANGEL COS SHE DIDNT DO EVERYTHING AT ALL AND EVERYTHING I DID AND SAID WAS WRONG AND I SHOULD BE CAST AWAY WIF NO FRENS COS IM NOT FIT TO HAF ANY? AND U DUN EVEN NID TO TOK TO ME AT ALL COS U DUN LIKE ME... SO FINE!

what kind man... now i dun feel like smiling at all anymore... my relationship wif syukri and weilun is officially screwed up... totally... wad u treat me as man. must u jus shoot qns at me like dat... haf u considered how i felt before opening ur mouth? so wad are u now? the police? so im the criminal now lah... im all wrong... totally wrong so everything i say turns out wrong... u noe y i dun wanna tok about it? COS WHEN I TOK ABOUT IT A WANNA CRY OK? CAN U RESPECT DAT? U THINK I LIKE TO BE SCREWED BY MY FRENS? WELL THEN I DUN OK? I DUN LIKE IT AT ALL... and ur supposed to be my bestfrens... u noe wad u did is somewhat selfish? all u care about sometimes is urself... u think i will say that for no good reason? hu do u think i am man... wdf... and u noe wad... we arent really best frens... best frens dun screw each other up over a girl... they dun GET screwed up BECAUSE of a girl... and they shouldnt be so uncaring... u noe wad... maybe it would b better if i go alone... then i wun get into all this SHIT... i wouldve been all cheery and happy now... why should i worry dat i haf no frens? why should i bloody even haf frens? haf u thot about wad u said ytd? haf u thot about how i would feel? thx cos u made my day... i feel total SHIT now cos of this... laugh all u wan wif each other... from today onwards i wun tok unless u tok to me or sth... im sick of this... frenship is 2way... yea right... guess i was wrong to be honest to my supposedly best frens now eh? stupid shit....

yay for @#$%^.. u jus screwed the blondies... so u mus be happy now? dat syukri is now a total bastard and u jus transformed my best fren into a damn bitch head. thanks @#$%^ .. u jus made my day... damn u biatch... im damn pissed at syukri cos ever since he changed place, he's become a total asshole shit. now he's a total suck up thx to u... and mind u ... ur not my bestfren so stop acting like u are cos it is making me SICK.. FISH OFF BITCH.. U WILL NEVER BE IN THE BLONDIES WHETHER U WAN IT OR NOT... UR NOT A DAMN BLONDIE NO MATTER HOW MUCH U FLIRT WIF THEM... COS NO1 WANS U.. SO JUS FCUK OFF AND LEAVE US ALONE!!!!!!

YAY!!! ITS OUR 6MTH ANNIVERSARY!! IM SO HAPPY WOOTS! OMG! but sadly we're both busy today so yea...sad... im in school now.. its IT and mr heng is allowing us to web... today i sat outside the class cos i forgot my bi ji... and had to sit outside to copy... haha! I WAN GO MY MAROON5 CONCERT T.T sobs.. so sad!!! my maroon5!!! wade kind of anni mans... shit... dae is beside me now.... her ass so fat take up all the space... cannot type properly !! HAHA! super nth to do sia... I WAN A VERY UNFORGETTABLE ANNI... SHIT... they playing their korea shits again... LALALALAA i dun wanna listen... PRISCILLA ITS UR BDAY SO SHUDDAP!!! $#$#%!#$$%&%^(**&)(*_(*)*&(&(^&*^%&$%^@$

OKOK! we're ok again! kinda... i hope he's not angry wif me for opposing dat im not clingy... sorry... i was crying wen i set dat msg and i feel MUCH better now... hope hedoesnt think im asking for too much or feels bored wif me... i really hope it can work out between us... i really do... and now... im all alone at home for the whole night... jo got classes and jie got internship... daddy's at work... all except me haf sth to do... i feel abit scared like someone or something is watching or is standing behind me... can someone peii me? i very scared T.T one big house and im all alone at night... ooohhh... DARYL WHERE ARE YOU.!!!! T.T

hais... i cant help it... im crying again... as soon as he calls meand i hear his sweet innocent voice.. emotions swell up inside me and i break down again... only he doesnt noe.. i cant help it... jus thinking about it makes me wanna cry all over again... so dats relationship... i've lost faith in it totally... tho i avent given up on this one... I JUS CANT... i cant bring myself to... especially when i hear his voice.. so sweet and caring... wad am i to do? see im crying again... why mus everything be so COMPLICATED? gheese.... can someone help me? he can hear from my voice im not happy... he can tell im either angry or sad... good for him... i jus didnt feel like talking much cosi didnt wanna think about it.. drown myself into games dat i lose myself and not think about it... then here he comes... calls me and i foolishly pick up... then i hear his voice... i jus cant bear to end everything... tho maybe there's hope dat we can iron out everything and come to a decision... but how to bring it up? god this is hard... if he would even TAKE THE TROUBLE to read me blog posts... this would b so much easier.. then i can express myself w/o directly toking to him or spend money smsing him... but i also hope he understands hw i feel... if he misunderstands... i'll be creating more probs for myself rite? and no.. i dun wanna brek if its possible.. i jus wanna feel loved again.. i wanna feel important... i wanna be SPECIAL to someone... dats all im asking... is dat alot? IS DAT ALOT TO ASK???????

dang blog cant scan pics from my comp... error again =.= stupid internet...

u noe wad... its our 6th month this 24th... he said he has no going out sneakers and shoes... other than his school ones... i was thinking of getting him these( either one) but i guess there's no nid? if this keeps on... i dun think we would last dat long... his relationship wif his ex is so colourful and close... and im wad? clingy... dats jus great.... im like sooooo happy now... oh god! im gonna fall apart soon... u noe i used to be strong and everything.. i used to tell myself everytie... DUN LET ANY GUY GET TO U... i was naive... it isnt as easy as it looks... not at all... god i feel like crying again... im not as strong as u think... inside im softer than anyone else... OH GOD!!!!!

GO TEMASEK!!! FREESTYLERS ROCK!! WOOTS WOOTS! GRATS TO TEMASEK! WE JUS WON ND IN DANCEWORKS AD WE'RE GOING TO THE FINALS!! YEAH BABY! HAHA!!!


argh... u noe wad i think... i think if our relationship i like dat... then wads the point of having a relationship at all? we dun TALK... we dun share much stuff and all... we dun go out.. we dun even say GOODNITE as often... if he's bored wif me then i dun see the point... seriously... ARGH! MOST GUYS ARE ALL THE SAME... NOW I'D RATHER BE A LESBO!!! SERIOUSLY! RAWR!!!!! im soooooooooo sick of it!!! AM I VERY CLINGY WHEN I CALL U WHEN IM BORED AND WHEN IM DOWN IN THE DUMPS!!! IF DATS CLINGY... THEN WD THE HELL IS A BOYFRIEND FOR? FOR SHOW?! GAAAAHHHH!!!! ITS SO STUPID! WALAO... CLINGY IS THE STUPIDEST EXCUSE IVE HEARD... IF IM BORING TO U.. JUS SAY SO! I HAF OTHER PEEPS HU THINK IM FUN AND GREAT! if im sooooo clingy, then wad are ur frens? so im like one of them? AM I EVEN UR FRIEND?! DO U TREAT ME LIKE A GIRLFREN DESERVES TO BE TREATED?! OH BLOODY HELL! here i am trying to make it more interesting for both of us and not making it soooo boring and look wad i get... is dat a sign to say u dun even MISS me? at all? well dats great... jus great... such a motivation... =.=

GAHAAAHHHHAAAHAHADGSADHJASEFFWERFVWIERLGWAUHWUE4OUEWJGUEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA DIE NOW! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

hais... ok.. it doesnt hurt as bad anymore.. he still forgot to send me his picture.. i knew he was reluctant.. i really hope he meant it when he said he still has feelings for me... and he's soo right.. our relationship IS boring... so i wanna ASK him out on a date and go wif me to the maroon5 concert =D if i can get the tix =x $75? $100? $125? O.o but i dun haf dat much cash and he doesnt either.. so lets jus hope i win? O.o xD but he's not all DAT interested in maroon5.. he likes r&b music more... like leona lewis and stuff... and i dun like him to make exceptions jus for me cos its obvious he wun enjoy himself as much as i will...damn... i really wanna make it work and make him ENJOY being wif me.. I really do... but the qn is HOW? THIS IS SO HARD... GOSH... now i REALLY wish the one i liked was my bestest fren... cos best frens noe u best and accept everything about u and accept the true YOU... and u dun haf to act like someone im soooo not... so dats the sweet thing... and dats the most important in a relationship... liking ur partner for hu they are... looks arent all dat important if u ask me... i jus wanna love the one i love... dats all and dats the best relationship ever... for me.. xD

argh!! =.= clingy.. ok i admit.. dat hurt... dat really hurt... god... told him but it still hurts... if i cant turn to him when im bored then HU can i turn to? gheese... does he even noe wad i need or does he treat me like SOMEONE to him dat i cant even call him when im bored... i made it clear to him today... one of the hardest things ive ever done... scared he thinks im asking for alot now and finds me hard to live with... gheese... relationships arent meant to b easy eh? as they say... "ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER".. he says dat the feeling would be gone faster if i keep calling and toking to him.. wad kind of a relationship... if we're REALLY in love, why would we need to worry about feelings fading away? so dats quite stupid... gheese.. still cant get over it... HE DOESNT EVEN BOTHER READING MY BLOG!! and he thinks its EASY sharing some stuff with him... its hard ok! its not exactly the easiest thing to do, tho i should cos jie's rite... a relationship is 2sided.. so i cant complain? well at least he's honest wif me... well... im making him happy aint i? but im not feeling very cheery... i cant b selfish? well... he's my boyfren and i love him... so... wad can i say? fated? ha-ha... i haf no regrets dat he's my boyfren... but if next time... we're gonna get married...if we are... then guess the feelings will run out? HAHA! dats a thought...

guess i had hope? dats y i tried... u cant say i didnt... i hoped... i hoped he understood me... but he didnt... so wad can i do about it?-nothing... if i told my sis... she'll say im stupid too... i can except dat... they dun call me blondie for no reason... but even blondes arent as stupid to get themselves in mess like tis... maybe im the useless one... maybe if i used a different method instead of critisising him... he would undrsyand i care.... or maybe its jus cos he's hopeless.... as hopeless as me

hais... am i being too clingy? too clingy for the wrong reasons? gheese... find it hard especially when u miss him soooo much and think of him and hear his voice and such... is it not hard? for him? no, im not angry at that comment "why are you so sticky" sorry at dat then... its good to b honest... but dat jus sounds a tad harsh isit? fine, if u dun wanna me call then jus SAY u dun wan me to call... its not lik i call u 24/7... and then i dun call, and u go all "why didnt u call me" or "were you even gonna call" so now i call... god... now we sound so distant... its been almost 6mths... tis 24th is our 1/2yr anni... and rust me things arent going very well... i dun like to tell him my problems cos i feel abit UNEASY.. like he doesnt wanna listen to them.. i dun wan him to noe i haf so many problems and i make things so complicated and i doubt he will understand y i care about other people other than myself... its simple.. cos im not as self-centred as others.. i like to help ppl.. i LOVE to help people overcome problems and help them see things b4 sth bad happens... then they'll haf a mid-life crisis and get depressed... gheese... is dat too much to understand? so now i haf a new mission...

FINDING>>> A REALLY REALLY GOOD FREN TO TALK TO WHEN IM SUPER BORED COS I HAF NO ONE ELSE TO TOK TO...DO I NID TO POST A VIDEO ON MOCCA.COM JUS TO GET SOMEONE TO UN-BORE ME? gheese...

im so disappointed... im so STUPID... why di i even waste my time TRYING to tok sense into some ppl when i already noe its totally useless... now fine... they wan beat me up... fine... take it as a punishment for my stupidity... im crazy to even waste my breath trying to tok sense into their head... they're so SHALLOW!! they're so immature and i jus cant hlp but feel helpless and i really want to try and let them understand the importance of education and dat excessive playing is bad for them cos i dun wan them to learn it the hard way... when they grow up... hu would want to marry them? i mean seriously.. have they thought about their future? wad their gonna do when they grow up... how are they gonna make their money for survival? how arethey even gonna FEED themselves? haf they even THOUGHT of that? and now fine.. they wanna come my school and beat me up.. i haf nth to say... except this

kevin... i duno why i cared sooo much about ur life and stuff... guess i was jus too eager to help u change.. too eager to MAKE u a better person and to understand that wad im doing is for ur own good... im not ur mother...yes.. but i jus wan to b like a sster to u... tell u wads rite or wrong jus like my sis does... i wanna care for u... i dun wan u to end up like some road sweeper or odd-job worker... i wan u too haf a better life... b ur own boss... ear lots of money and be happy... haf a great family... guess i thot too much huh? the fact i said u were a useless asshole... was actually quite true... i wasnt insulting u... and i dun wanna insult u... but seriously.. if u dun start studying now and do well... u are really gonna be useless... maybe u duno wad i mean now... but i jus dun wan u too end up in a sad state... no food, no money... no life... dun waste ur school days cos in ur whole life... its the most important... ur future and ur WHOLE life depends on the marks u get now.. im very disappointed in u... good luck wf ur life... if after i haf said all these.. u still curse me and stuff... i haf nth to say alr... then... u'll be more stupid than i thot

ok fine... i apologise... im wrong... thank ur papa daryl for dat.. guess the dad always noes best huh? guys noe guys... i haf no rite to say anything... if u would tell me more... more about wad u do... maybe i would understand... yes, i overdid it by calling u useless... i admit... but... u mus noe... i nvr ONCE looked down on u... cos i noe dat if i look down on u, im looking down on myslef too... look down on myself dat im sooo proud and think im greater than wad i really am... i nvr did once looked down on anybody... im not dat sort... guess u wun even tok to me? guess u dun even read my blog...haha... ah wells...hope u do

GAAAAA!!!! i haf to go for tuition frm 9AM to 5PM eveyday of the hols!!! GAAAA!!! but it wasn't as bad as i had expected tho... it was quite ok... haha! surprisingly.. i brought oreos and pigged out there... omg.. i think by the end of te march hols i'll be FFAAATTT... as in piggy FAT... darn... mus cut down!!! ohoh! ytd NIGHT this spooky kid called me.. she sounded like about 5yrs old.. small girl... called me and asked.. hu is you?... then obviously i wun say rite? so i was like huh? i think u got the wrong number... then she was like TOTAL SILENCE IT WAS THE CREEPY KIND OF SILENCE!!!! then she was like hu is you? i am xinyun( or sth like dat) hu is you? then im like HUH... errr... then after dead silence... then she said byebye then silence... then put down.. i was damn spooked lah!! then the stupid colin!!!! colin was like it would be even spookier if the house dat called you had no one living in it... ten i was like SHADDAP!!!! >< then he was like.. haha! i love it when ur scared.. ur soooo funny... GGGRRRRR HIM! STUPID COLIN!!! @#$%! grrrr....

ohoh... argh... i forgot wad was the other thing.... arrrgghhh... OH YEA!!! I WANNA WIN CONCERT TIX TO MAROON5!!! T.T I WAN I WAN I WAN!!!! I WAN IT SOOOOO MUCH!!!! i wished daryl would bring me... or i would win enough tix for the blondies to go.... gheeeesssseee... i wish.. i wish... but wad are the chances of me winning them tix anyways? 1 in a few hundred? or even thousand? argh!!!! i wan i wan i wan!!! i wan it soooo much... if the person brought me on the most spectacular date to maroon5 concert.... it'll totally fall in love wif him... god... argh!!! i wan!!!!! and yes owl... this time its all about me... ><

hahahaha!!! today was quite funny!! haha! i feel sooo lazy to blog.. tdfy i shouted at ben cos i was having like SUPER bad gastric so i was like damn pissed wif the tcher cos he was taking his time giving out the CA1 results... argh!!! it hurt damn bad lah... i couldnt even stand properly... so the tcher said he wasnt gonna dismiss us unless we all sit down and be quiet... but i really wanted to run to the canteen to buy food... so i was like super cranky... then ben came over(as usual =x) and talked to daesia about lit and some shit... i was like sooooo in pain i hurried ben... i was like "GO LAH!! FASTER FASTER!! GOOOOOO!!!" but he was like "wait wait" then i exclaimed "I DUN BLOODY CAAAAARRRREEEEE!!" in tis high pitched voice LOL it was super funny.. dae was like totally laughing her head off lah! then i was like swearing and cursing and dae was like sitting there laughing at me curse the teacher.. HAHA! sometimes i jus crack myself up =) ahhh... i love dat...

ARGH!!! and now i found out dat my daryl's hp kena confiscated cos he used it too much T.T sobs... alot mehs T.T sry... if im affecting u pls say cos its ur important year and ur studies are more important... stop playing gunbound and STUDY!!! or else i march to ur hse and sit down and watch u study!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Xp BLEAH~~~